flying home

As my plane approached Fort Lauderdale, the sun broke through the eastern horizon, flooding the Atlantic. As beautiful as sunrises are from mountain-tops and sea-shores, they are even more spectacular from the air. I looked down, and there was the south Florida coastline, as perfect as those satellite images they show on the weather channel.


I remember thinking on the plane that it looked warm, and I was thrilled when that warm dampness hit me full in the face as I walked through the airport doors. I can't say I like south Florida - I have many rants against its unchecked development and materialistic culture - but we can't help a certain fondness for the places where we grow up. For me, that meant glamorous Boca and my own broken house.

I had planned only an in-and-out, to fulfill my duty to see my parents. For the young, everywhere else is full of exciting new experiences and, above all, freedom, and the lure of that, especially when you have a hard, unsettled task at home, is strong. I was stubborn, invincible, impatient, in love. But I wasn't listening, either to my body or that wiser, more generous voice in my head.

Now it is a full week after I was supposed to fly out, and for the last two weeks, I've been dealing with a whole slew of symptoms that I've never experienced before, and downright scared me. But the tests say I'm fine, and the doctor says I'm fine, and I am feeling better. So besides a little bit more rest and my mom's homeopathic body cleansing remedies, the best thing I can do is probably to get on with whatever I was doing before (which is the big question-mark). But with a little more sensitivity, I think. To my body and the things that stress me out.

I've really enjoyed my mom's company these days without some departure date looming ahead. She's always talking about health, and when you're young and always healthy, well, it was a little hard for me to really listen and care. But this time, I was much more receptive, and I've come to really respect her for the immense body of knowledge and confidence that she has on this subject. We take walks together in the evenings and soak our feet in the tub at night before bed. And that allows us a lot of time to talk, which we haven't had in years, it feels. It's been very good for my health. Funny how things work out.

Well, it'll be Mommy's birthday in a couple days. Happy Birthday! Also to Matt and Jess, whose birthdays are both today. :-D

I remember when I first got glasses back in middle school. I wore them home, and for the first time, I saw the little loops of the carpet, and was taken aback. It's like that when I haven't come home in a couple years. Those little details surprise me and remind me how much I'd forgotten.

This is my room. It hasn't changed much since I was little.


I turned the corner, and there was Grant! (Actually it was a cut-out from a poster for the film Yiyi that I had taped to his door to welcome him home many years ago. But there's a strong resemblance to be sure!)


And this is me, a quick watercolor sketch a friend had done that first evening I landed in Kantishna, Alaska.