calling

Jess denies this was intentional - and it's probably not - but sometimes, unintentionally, she's really got me figured out. If she kept saying, "Lily, you should teach", I would just reply, "No, I think I'll try something else." Back and forth, like a broken record. So instead, she calls me up to brainstorm a project idea -- all about her chemistry class pretending they're an environmental consulting firm hired to give recommendations on cleaning up the Ganges River in India. And Jess knows I can't resist, that this creative process was my favorite part about teaching. And so, we come up with a damn good project, and I hang up and start thinking about teaching again.

And Jess also knows, I loved my crazy kids, and even as tiring as that was, if there's any memory that will lead me to teaching again, that's it. It's good timing on her part that she's just come back from a visit to Holl, and she's jabbering away about our kids. I get an email from one of them:

"YAY!!!! ms change ms chang ms chang... stay out dem mountins lol.. not good. i am in skoo now. if u dont kno who this is this is lorenzo. and if u have forgottin about me. i will be really mad. over the christmas break. i sat and looked at your graduation gift. i was thinking of u and vanessa (my girlfreind) has even thought of u. the funny thing is that she remembers nothing but she remembers u. ms chang send me an email let me kno who u doin and dont take so long. love ya miss change and tell ms wysopal the same.... and tell her i said hi also."

And again, I can't resist. Two years after I was their teacher, they are still so enthusiastic.

I have to remind myself, though, how much I disliked disciplining, watching other people's classes, senioritis, purchase orders, whining, spoiled children, and the betrayal of your kids when they get disrespectful in exchange for a few nods from certain classmates. I know I had a great teaching year at Pott, but I got lucky in many ways: strong administrators, small (15 student) classes, two preps. I've got a fear that if I tried this again, I wouldn't get so lucky (and I most likely wouldn't). And then, I'd be stuck for the length of my contract. Would I be happy teaching?

Still, I used to vehemently decline teaching, and now, well, I'm actually considering it. Jess is shocked, for sure, but not daring to hope too much either, hahaha.